Heaven, Help Me!
by Rah.RaZorBlade
Summary: Kurt has depression, can his boyfriends and his brother help him get better? Will it be easy trying to convince him he's loved? SEBKLAINE
1. Chapter 1

I watched the water fall from the shower head, it seemed to fall in slow motion. I couldn't hear anything around me, it was all white noise.

After my shower, I got dressed and left the bathroom.  
I walked into the lounge room where my two boyfriends sat. Side by side, shoulder to shoulder, laughing and kissing.

I gasp. I back tracked my steps till the floor board squeaked. Sebastian and Blaine looked up at me and I froze.

"Hey, babe, you're up early! It's a Saturday." Blaine smiled at me.

"What? Are you dying?" Sebastian laughed.

When I didn't laugh back, they both frowned and stood up. I stepped back.

"Kurt?" Sebastian tried.

I gulped.  
"I-I'm just gonna go out for a while."

I quickly left the room and grabbed my car keys. I nearly made it to the door until Sebastian grabbed my forearm.

"Hey, Kurt! What's wrong?" He frowned down at me.

Blaine stepped beside me.  
"Kurt?"  
I shook my head and turn away from both of them, walking to the bedroom.

What's the point in staying here? They only care about each other.

I didn't leave the room at all until night time, so when I eventually came out, I peeked my head around the door frame, Sebastian and Blaine were sitting at the dinner table. They weren't talking, Sebastian was eating, watching the TV from where he sat, and Blaine was leaning on his right hand, picking at his food.

I heard Blaine sigh.  
"'Bastian, it's getting late, why don't we go talk to him." He asked.

"If he's going I act like this, just leave him alone." Sebastian snapped.

I turned my head back around, I felt the tears make their way to my eyes. Just as I was about to walk back to the room Blaine walked around the corner, nearly running into me.

"Kurt! I was worried!" His lip quivered.  
"Do you want dinner?" He asked.

I shake my head.  
"I'm- I'm fine. I'm just gonna go back to-" I say, turning around.

"Please don't shut us out, Kurt. We love you, you know that, right?" He said eagerly.

I pause for a second then start walking again.

I flop onto the king size bed, that we all share.

How we sleep is usually, Sebastian closes to the door, because he's the first one up in the mornings, he works.

Blaine sleeps in the other side because he's usually the last in bed. He stays up late studying and doing finances and all that crap.

And I sleep in the middle, unfortunately. I'm the first to go to bed because I can't stand to be around my boyfriends, I can't stand to see them happy together and leave me out of things.

I tried to swap spots with Blaine once, so him and 'Bastian can be next to each other, but Blaine kept waking us up when he climbed in bed, an Sebastian kept getting angry and ordered us to move back.

"Kurt?" A strong voice came from the door.

I roll over to see my brother.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" I ask.

He walks over to the bed, gives me a hug then sits down. He smiled weakly.

"Blaine and Sebastian rang me up saying you're depressed. What's wrong?"

I open my mouth to tell him, but then my eyes land on the door to see my boyfriends.

I close my mouth and turn my attention back to Finn.

I shake my head.

Finn sighs. He puts his hands on my cheeks and tells me he'll always be there for me.

He then leaves, not sure if he left the apartment or just the room.

Blaine walks over to me.

"You need to see someone, Kurt."  
Sebastian sits on the other side of me and kisses my temple.

"We know you've been having restless nights, by the way. We hear you whimpering and-"

Whimpering? Like a fucking dog?

I zone out to what he's saying. To be honest, I don't care. I don't want to know how they think I need help, how I should open up more and worse of all, how they love me and they'll always stick by me.

Pfft! If i were them, I would have left my ass ages ago. I understand why they don't take me places. Why they'd rather make out together than with me.

My thoughts were cut short when I heard Sebastian snapping at me.

"Kurt! You're not even listening to me!"

Yeah, again, Kurt. Way to go. Making him angry, wow, you're a great boyfriend aren't you.

I can't stand my thoughts anymore and I get up and run out of the room, to bounce off the chest of someone. I look up and see Finn's worried face... Again.

Way to disappoint your family, just like how you disappoint everyone else.

"Come on." Finn said taking me by the shoulder and leading me back into the room.

He sat me on the bed and turned to Blaine and Sebastian.

"I booked an appointment today. Kurt sees the doctor tomorrow. They class depression as an emergency."

I look at Finn in disbelief. How could he betray me like that! We were meant to be family!

"You should go to bed, kurt." Finn says.

I shake my head in annoyance and stomp out of the room and into the bathroom.

I sit on the side of the bathtub for quite a while until I calm myself down a bit. I stand up and look in the mirror.

Agh! So disgusting. How can they even act like they love me?

I splash water on my face, not even bothered to do my nightly facial.

It feels weird, being me but not acting myself. I know I've changed, I feel different, but... I kind of like myself like this, the depressive feeling is like adrenaline to my body. Like the movie 'Crank' I need the adrenaline to live.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a few weeks since that doctors appointment Finn booked for me. Blaine makes sure I take my anti-depressants every morning, while Sebastian is at work. I've stopped singing and they seem to think that's completely normal.

I don't feel any different. They've started babying me, I feel like a damn child.

"Hey, babe." Blaine said, sitting beside me.

I smile at him. Maybe if i act normal, they'll take me off the medication. I turn back to look out the window. I hear Blaine sigh.

"I see right through you, Kurt. Finn might be fooled but I'm not. And Sebastian won't even talk about it." He paused.  
"Just tell me how you're feeling, kurt. The truth."

I sigh.  
"I-I feel as tho my whole life could come crashing down at any moment." I say, not turning away from the window.

Blaine grabs my shoulders and turn me around to face him.

"I love you, Kurt. I'll make you something to eat. What do you want?" Blaine asks me.

I shake my head.  
"I'm not hungry." I say.

"Kurt, you've got to-"

"What part of I'm not fucking hungry don't you understa-"

"Hey!" A voice boomed.

I jump from the sudden angry voice to see Sebastian glaring at me.

"Just because you're angry, doesn't mean you can take it out on us!" He yells.

Sebastian walks over to us and wraps his arms around Blaine. I walk away.

"Kurt-" Blaine started before I slammed the front door.

I lean against the door for a few seconds. I can hear them arguing. That's my fault... Again... It always is. If I wasn't here, they wouldn't be arguing.

I stand up and run down the street. They don't want me? Fine. I can deal with that.

I wipe the frustrated tears away. I was too deep with anger I didn't even hear a car approaching.

"Hey, Kurt." I turn to see Puck.

"Noah? What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Jump in, we'll talk over coffee." He smiled.

We sat across from each other at the Lima bean.  
"Where's Blaine and Sebastian today?" He asks.

I turn away, looking down at my coffee instead.  
"Home I suppose."

"Why were you walking by yourself?"  
"Well recentl-" I was cut off by my phone ringing.

I look at the caller ID. I groan and reject the call.

"Trouble in paradise?" Noah frowns.  
I sigh and nod.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks nervously. He's never been to guy to listen about another guys problems.

I think about it, should I just pretend that I'm fine or should I tell him? I do want someone I talk to.

"Well, recently, I feel as tho I can't do anything right. I've been hurting Blaine and Sensation, I'm constantly picking fights with them because I want them to leave me so I don't have to keep disappointing them. I feel useless. They won't let me cook because I keep day dreaming and burning the food. The house is never a mess, so there's nothing to clean. And now I'm too scared to go home, Sebastian is so angry with me."  
I stop talking and look at Puck, who I'm sure is bored shitless. But he's actually giving me a sympathetic look.

I stand up.  
"I'm sorry to have been a bother, Noah. I should get home."

Puck stands up aswell.  
"Here, I'll drive you-"  
"No! No, thank you. I'll walk." I cut him off.  
"It was nice seeing you again, Noah."

I walk out of the Lima bean before he can say anything else.


	3. Chapter 3

I walk home in the dark. But as I got closer to the house I see Finn's car in the driveway.

Perfect.

I shake my head and walk inside. Quietly shutting the door and tiptoeing to the bedroom, until I get to that stupid squeaky floorboard and I shut my eyes tightly knowing very well I was heard.

"Kurt?! I was so worried!" Blaine ran over to me, planting kisses all over my face.

"Where the hell were you! I'm over having to look after you like you're a fucking dog! Do you know how stressed you're making Blaine and I?"

The tears well up in my eyes.

"Now, get into the lounge room." Sebastian ordered.

I walk to the lounge room and look at Finn who was on the couch. He had a far off look on his face, like he was deep in thought.  
I sit beside him, waking him from his daydream. Blaine sits beside me, his hands wrapped around mine.  
Sebastian sits down on his chair, clearing his throat.

"Puck called me." Finn starts.

My heart leaps. I'm screwed. I'm so screwed! I shouldn't have told Pick ANYTHING!

"Wh-why?" I ask nervously.

"Because you're hurt, kurt." Finn says not looking at me.

I look at him then to my boyfriends.

"What?" I snapped.  
"Do you honestly think we're disappointed in you? That you're not good enough?" Blaine says, starting to cry.

I force myself to look away.

"Well?" Sebastian groaned.

Why is he always mad? What the HELL did I do? I look at Sebastian in panic. His eyes ease up. He sighs and sits on the edge of his chair.

"I'm so sorry." Was all I could get out.

"We love you Kurt, so much. I'm sorry I've been a dick lately. Work is stressful as it is, I don't want to have to come home to the same shit. I don't want to come home and not get to see either of you, I hate that. You lock yourself in the room, you're not eating, you've lost so much weight it's noticeable. I hear you crying most nights, when you think I'm sleeping, I don't bother asking if you're okay, because you'd just lie to me and say you're fine, like you always do. We just want to help you, babe. And we can't do that if you KEEP pushing us away." Sebastian tried everything he had to keep himself from crying, I can tell.

The guilt sits on my shoulders, I can feel the tight grip it has ahold of me by. I break down. I feel small, lower than everyone else.

I sob into Blaine's shoulder.

A fuck up, Hummel, nothing but a fuck up.

I look at Finn who had his left elbow on the arm of the lounge, resting his head in his hand. His eyes are closed, but I see a tear slip out between his eyes.

My stomach knocks and turns.  
A failure, a disappointment. Way to go, Hummel, way to go.

A few weeks later, after that whole fiasco, Sebastian made me get stronger anti-depressions. But now, Blaine won't even let me be in a room by myself. He makes me watch movies with him ALL day.

I sigh and stand up.

"Where are you going?" Blaine shot up.  
"...to the toilet." I say.

"I'll pause the movie! Hurry back." He orders. Sebastian grabs Blaine's hand and pulls him back onto the couch.

I can't believe it! I'm a prisoner in my own damn house!

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and look at my reflection. My hair is unwashed, my face is oily, I've lost so much weight and I'm wearing grey track suit pants and one of Sebastian's baggy hoodies.

I. Look. Disgusting.

I sigh and walk back out to my boyfriends, who are now grinding on top of each other. Again, doing things without me. I scoff and walk to the kitchen, I stand at the sink sipping a glass of water.

"Hey babe." Sebastian says, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed the side of my head.

"Care to join us?" He whispered in my ear.

I frown and shake my head.  
I turn to him and blast a fake smile on my face.

"No, that's okay."

Sebastian frowns but nods. He walks back to the lounge room and I hear him say something to Blaine, then they both walk to the bedroom.

I sit on the kitchen floor and cry to myself. I'm losing them.

I woke up on the kitchen floor with someone shaking me. I think up through hazy eyes to see a figure leaning over me.

"Babe? What's wrong? Come on, let's go to bed."

I shake my head.

"Go 'way 'Bastian." I groan.

He picks me up off the ground and Carries me to the bedroom, laying me on the bed. Blaine rolls over, grabs my cheeks and kisses me.

I swat his hand away.

Blaine frowns.  
"K-Kurt?"

I ignore him and roll over, facing Sebastian who has climbed into bed as well and is stroking my hair.

I should be turned on. I should be loving the fact I am laying next to the two people I love so much. I should feel happy. But I don't, all I can think of is how much pressure i'm putting them through. How much stress I'm causing them. Maybe it time to go my own way. It'll be better for all of us if I do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! I've been busy, my son turned 1 the other day! He was born early at 26 weeks! So I'm really excited that he's come so far for someone who was born so early! **

**Ps: I'm sorry about all the errors and stuff, I write on the notepad on my phone, so it's constantly changing words and being crap.**

_CHANGE OF POV_

"Sebastian!" Blaine yelled.

Sebastian shot straight out of bed when he heard one of his lovers in distress.

"Blaine?" He whimpered.

Blaine ran to the bedside.  
"Kurt isn't here! He's not in the house and he's stuff is gone! All of it!" Blaine sobbed, hyperventilating.

"Shhh, it's okay." Sebastian tried to convince his partner, he knew it wasn't enough.

"Did you try calling him?"

Blaine sobbed harder.  
"He -locked - umber."

"What? You need to calm down, Blaine." He said, grabbing at his boyfriend's hands. Blaine breathed in deeply, trying to calm himself down.

"He blocked my number." He repeated.

Sebastian picked up his own phone and dialled Kurt's number. Indeed, it didn't even ring. Kurt NEVER turns his phone off or lets it go flat.

"No. No. No, this can't be happening."

Sebastian quickly went through his contacts.

"Sebastian, what the hell is going on?" Came the voice on the other end of the phone.

"You know where the hell Kurt is?!" Sebastian panicked.

"He's here. He got here about 4 hours ago and he hadn't stopped crying, he's only just fallen asleep. What the hell is going on?"

Sebastian sighed in relieve that his boyfriend was safe at his brothers house.

"I don't know, Finn. We woke up and he was gone. He's blocked both mine and Blaine's numbers."

"I'll- I'll try to talk to him." Finn sighed.

"Thank you."

He hung up the phone and Sebastian turned to Blaine who was still crying on the bed, looking at a photo of them at Sebastian's 21st birthday last year.

Blaine slightly laughed.

"Remember how drunk kurt got? How he was trying to strip on the table?"

Sebastian laughs at the memory.

"Yeah, Never. Again."

Blaine frowned again. Sebastian shifted over taking his boyfriend's hands in his own.

"We'll get him back babe." Sebastian said, also trying to convince himself.

_KURTS POV_

I stare out the window that looks into the backyard, my whole mind is blank. I'm not sure how long I've been standing here for, but it doesn't seem that long.

"Hey, little brother. What are you doing?"

I stare blankly at Finn then turn back towards the window.

Finn coughs trying to get my attention, but when I don't turn towards him holds a tablet in front of my face.

The actions make me turn back towards him.

"I don't want it." I say.  
"You have to, Kurt. Don't you want to get better?"

"There's nothing wrong with me to get better from!" I snapped.

"Take the damn tablet!" Finn yells.

I glare at him and shake my head.

Finn growls and moves to stand behind me. But before I can turn around he's got his arms around my shoulders, keeping me in place while trying to shove the anti-depressant into my mouth.

When he succeeds he keeps his hand over my mouth so I can't spit it out.

"I'm just trying to look out for you, Little brother." He whispered in my ear.

"I love you, Kurt, I just want to help, okay?"

I swallow the tablet and start crying. He lets me go of me. I walk to my bed and flop on it, face first.

I look at my phone, I know I won't have any missed calls, I've block both their numbers.

Did they care I was gone? Did they even try to ring me? I wish I knew their reaction when they noticed I was gone.

I hear someone knock on the front door. I bet it's that backstabbing Puck.

I curl under my covers and shove the pillow over my head, blocking out the light and the sound. I don't want to hear (who I assume is Puck) talk about my well being. 'Is he okay? Do you need help taking care of your mentally I'll brother?' I'm sure they're the questions getting asked down there.

I feel someone's hand on my hip.  
...that's weird... Puck wouldn't do that because its considered 'Gay', according to him. I want to take this pillow off my head to see who the hell is in my room, but I don't want to talk to anyone.

I groan and someone takes the pillow off my face for me. I open my eyes and look up to see Blaine's beautiful eyes, and Sebastian's glaring face.

oh shit.


	5. Chapter 5

I sat up slightly on my elbows,  
"How'd you find me?" I frown.

I look up at Sebastian who sighs, shaking his head. He jumps in the bed with me and starts crying. It's a side to him I've never seen. Even Blaine was shocked.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. We'll help as much as we can. We need you so much." Sebastian said, sobbing harder.

I was too shocked looking at Sebastian I don't notice Blaine was also crying until he pounces on me, barring his face in the crook of my neck.

"Don't leave us. Don't go. Come back home, Kurt." Blaine cried.

Why am I ALWAYS the reason Blaine cries? ALWAYS! And this side of Sebastian, is my fault, I've never seen him like this.

I nod to Blaine.

"Yeah, we'll go home." I cough, trying not to cry myself.  
Blaine grabs my face and kisses me in desperation.

"Come on then." He gets up, dragging both Sebastian and I along too.

"I'll go tell Finn." Blaine said, running out the door.

"I'll help you get your stuff. I love you, Kurt." Sebastian smiles and kisses my cheek.

I fake a smile and give him a hug.

"I love you too."  
"We're going to talk about this when we get home, okay?" He says.

I pull away and walk over to my suitcase. Before I can pick it up, Sebastian grabs it.

"I got it. Where's the rest of your stuff?"

I sigh.  
"In my car."  
Sebastian nods.

"Okay, well, get your coat and your phone. And unblock our numbers, will you ." He ordered.

"Ho-how did you find me, anyway?" I asked.

Sebastian sighs, putting down my suitcase and putting his hands on my hips.

"When you didn't answer your phone, I rang Finn and he said you were here. We came right away. But we'll talk about it more when we get home, okay?"

I nod.

He then dips his head and kisses me on the lips.

"Ready?" Blaine asks, returning to the room.

"Blaine, you and Kurt go in Kurt's car, are you okay to drive?" Sebastian asks.

Blaine nods.

"Alright, I'll drive the other car."

Blaine and I nod in unison.

"I'll see you both at home then. Love you." Sebastian said, kissing both of us on the forehead and leaving the room.

I hear him say a quick 'thank you' to Finn, before I hear the front door shut.

Blaine takes my hand and we both walk out to Finn.

I sniffle and look at Finn, whose smiling at me.

"Thank you, Finn. For letting me stay here, not like I was here for very long tho." I say smiling slightly.

"That's okay, little brother. Come here anytime." He says.

"Don't tell him that, he will probably leave more often." Blaine jokes.

Finn laughs and gives us both a hug.

"But seriously, come any time, Rachael and I don't mind."

I look around the house, just realising the whole time I've been under this roof, I hadn't even noticed Rachael wasn't even here. HOW COULD I MISS THAT?

"Oh, yeah. Where is Rachael?" I ask.

"She's visiting her Dads, they're both sick."

I nod in understanding.

"Alright let's go." Blaine urges me to the door.

"Okay." I smile at his enthusiasm.  
I give Finn one last hug before exiting the door.

"Thanks again, Finn."

He nods and shuts the door behind us.

I get into the passenger seat and look at Blaine who gets into the drivers seat.

"Alright, a whole 2 hours back home, what do you want to listen to?" He asks me.

Anything depressing.

I shake my head and shrug.

"Ah, anything will do, I guess."  
Blaine nods.

I lean against the window, trying to block out Blaine's singing. Why does he always have to sing and dedicate this song to me.

Teenage dream.

"Come on, babe, sing with me." Blaine begs.

I shake my head. The music turns off and I look over at Blaine. He looks slightly grumpy.

He sighs.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"'Bastian is right, this IS frustrating."

My heart drops and tears well up in my eyes. My hands start sweating and I can feel my heart beat increase.

"Kurt? I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it like that." Blaine apologises.

"No, it's fine." I say, clearing my throat and turning back towards the darkness out my window.

I look at the clock in the car. 10:17pm.

As we get home, I see that Sebastian is home already and the lounge room light is on.

"Hey you made it back safe." He kisses both Blaine and me on the cheek.

"Talk in the morning?" Blaine asks.

Sebastian nods.

"Yeah, I'm tired. lets go to bed."

I stand in the middle of the lounge room and bite the inside of my cheek. Blaine walk over to me and claps me on the shoulder.

"Come on, kurt, bed."

I gulp and follow him to the room.

I can't be bothered getting my pyjamas out of my suitcase so I put on a pair of Sebastian's tracksuit pants and climb into bed.

Sebastian wraps his long arms around me, also holding one of Blaine's hands which is rested on my waist.

"Good night, my loves." Sebastian whispered, kissing me on the forehead.

"Goodnight." Blaine replied.

I didn't say anything. I don't want to go to sleep, I don't want to wake up in the morning and have to tell them how I feel about life.

Life sucks.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up the next morning by a slight shake of my body and a small voice.

"Hey, Babe. Kurt?"  
I open my eyes and see Sebastian smiling at me.

"Good morning." He said, kissing my forehead.

Blaine even bounced through the bedroom door and hands me a cup of coffee. I take the coffee and mumbled a slight 'thanks' not noticing or caring if he heard me or not.

Sebastian cleared his throat.

"So, Babe. Blaine and I were talking and umm... I'm- I'm going to go to the doctors about giving me stress relief medication. It might help me stop being a jerk to you." He said stroking my face.

"We want you to also talk about what's been bothering you. Puck told us what you told him. About how you think you're hurting us? Do you honestly want to leave us?"

I couldn't speak I was trying to hold back my tears. No I don't want to leave you both. I want you both to leave ME.

"Kurt, please talk to us."

I clear my throat.

"I love you both, I just don't want to keep disappointing you."

Blaine wiped away my tears that traveled down my cheek.

"You don't, Kurt. I promise. We're so proud of you. Why do you say that?" Sebastian whispers.

I look at Blaine who's crying.  
My stomach knots up and a small whimper leaves my throat.

Blaine looks up at me.

"Don't worry bout me Kurt, I'm fine." He sniffs.

I start to sob.  
"No, you're not okay, because I always do this to you."

"Always do what?" Sebastian asks, taking away my cup of coffee, putting it on the bed side table.

"I always make Blaine upset and always make you angry. I'm sorry." I sob harder.

"Shhh. It's alright." Sebastian whispered to me.

Blaine pulled me into a hug. Wrapping his well built arms around my small frame.

"Shh. Don't talk like that." Blaine said, kissing the top of my head.

Sebastian sighed deeply.

"Just- talk to us Kurt. Why do you want to leave us?"

"I-I d-don't." I stutter back.

"But Puck said-" I cut Sebastian off.  
"No, Puck said that I want YOU to leave ME."

"Why?" Blaine asks.

"So you can both be happy, so I don't have to keep disappointing you, or keep getting in the way. Just- I'll go, okay? I- I'll go get my own house."

Blaine let's go of me and walk out the room, shutting the door behind him. I hear him sobbing in the lounge room.

I turn to Sebastian who has tears in his eyes.

"Don't talk like that, Kurt, Please. We love you, okay?" He kissed me forcefully on the lips and I kissed back.

It felt wrong, like what I was doing was wrong. Was it? I pulled back, staring at 'Bastian's face. He looked down and got up.

"I'm going to check on Blaine. Go back to sleep?"

I nod and lye down. I sob into my pillow hearing my lovers talk in the lounge room.

They're talking about me. Another's doctor's appointment. Higher dosage. Showing me they love me.

I. Can't. Do. This.

I feel a headache coming on from the hysterical sobbing I'm trying to hold back.

I pick up my phone. Looking at the background. The photo was taken just a few months ago, by Finn, it was taken before I started feeling worthless, useless. A photo of Sebastian, Blaine and I. I'm lying across both Sebastian's and Blaine's arms in a 'Model' pose. We are all smiling and were generally happy.

I don't know when it all went wrong? What happened? They got closer, and I felt like I was drifting away? I don't remember when it started exactly. What was the trigger? I just remember one day feeling horrible. Why did they get closer suddenly?

My headache got worse thinking about all this.

I hear Blaine laugh. Why are they able to see colour when I can only see grey?

I don't remember falling asleep, only now I've woken up more tired than I was before.

I hear the door open and the foot steps freeze.

"Oh, hey babe, I was just about to wake you up."

Sebastian jumps on the bed and wriggles up so his face is right next to mine.

"You ready?" He asks.

I frown.  
"Ready for what?"

He gives me a sympathetic smile.

"To go to the doctors. Just one last time. They'll actually match a good dosage so it'll work, okay?"

I nod sheepishly.

We all sat in the doctor's Waiting room. Blaine was sitting on my right, reading one of the magazines the surgery supplied. And Sebastian on my left, he was holding my thigh because my leg my twitching with nerves. It was his way of calming me down.

"Mr. Hummel?" The doctor's voice echoed in the too quiet room.

I gulped and stood up. My boyfriends followed.

"So, what can I do for you today, Mr Hummel?" The doctor asked when we got to his office.

I froze. I didn't know what to say.

"May I?" Sebastian asked.  
The doctor looked at Sebastian than looked at me. When I didn't respond he nodded his head

"Well, Kurt has been put on two different anti-depressants and neither of them are working. I think he might need a higher dosage?"

The doctor looked at me.

"What one are you on." He asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Here, this I what he's on." Sebastian said, handing the doctor a piece if paper he pulled from his pocket.

The doctor hummed.

"Okay, well what were the effects?" He turned to me.

"Well, he-" Sebastian started but the doctor cut him off.  
"Sorry Mr. Smythe, but I need to actually hear this from Mr. Hummel."

I take a shallow breathe.  
I shook my head.  
What the hell do I say?  
"I- didn't feel any different."

The doctor wrote what I was saying into the computer.

"What side effects?"

I shrug again.  
What WERE the side effects?

"I-I don't know?" I said.

The doctor sighed.

"Well, constipation? Did it make you think bad things? Are you interested in sex? Could you ejaculate?"

What kind of questions were these!

I must have had a horrific look on my face because I hear Sebastian laugh and tell the doctor some side effects he noticed.

"He was on those tablets for two and a half weeks and He hasn't actually changed from before he was on anything, he isn't interested in sex, he stares out the window or at the wall for quite a long time. And he thinks he's a disappointment to Blaine and I. He told us he feels useless."

The doctor was still typing everything down onto his computer.

"Okay. Well if they weren't doing anything, I'm going to skip three doses and give him this."

He handed Sebastian a piece of paper. Sebastian said a quick 'thanks' and we all got up and walk out the door.

I sighed deeply and walked out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**So this is the last chapter!**

**I'm sorry, but majority of the time Im a reader of Fanfic rather than a writer.. And I loose interest in many of my stories quite easily, which is quite annoying. So thank you everyone who read the fic and has followed or favourited it. I appreciate it so much! And if you ever want a one-shot written...don't hesitate yo ask (I can only write for certain shows/movie tho.)**

Blaine and I both laid on the lounge, Blaine had his masculine arms wrapped around me and I fit perfectly beneath them. Sebastian's at work, he's always missing all the fun.

I looked up at Blaine

"Blaine?"  
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Kurt?" He asked.

"I would like to cook dinner tonight. To surprise 'Bastian?" I look up at him, with hope in my eyes.

Blaine groaned. I'm not sure if it was because of the look I was giving him or if he should 'betray' Sebastian's orders.

"Fine! But if Sebastian chews my ass out, not sexually, by the way, you're taking the blame!"

I got up, running to the kitchen. The first time I had cooked in nearly a year.  
"I can't believe it! It's got to be amazing! Special!" I squealed to myself.

Blaine coughed to get my attention. I whipped my head around to see him holding out one of my anti-depressants.

I frown and groaned.

"Don't be like that, Kurt. Or I'll say no to you cooking."

I rolled my eyes, taking the tablet and popping it in my mouth, washing it down with water.

"I love you, babe. You've come so far." Blaine whispered kissing me forcefully on the lips.

"Stop it, Blaine, or I'm never going I get dinner ready, I want to have it on the table before Sebastian gets home from work. I hope he doesn't get too angry." I say worryingly.

"What's for dinner?" Blaine asked smiling.

I click my tongue.

"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise for my special boys!" I say before shooing Blaine out of the kitchen.  
Now, to start on dinner, home made lasagna.

I had just sat the plates down on the table when I heard the front door open.

Blaine smiled and stood beside me, taking my hand.

"Where are you, guys?" Came Sebastian's voice.

When he walked into the dinning room he stopped and stared.

"What's all this?" He asked.

I bit my lip and stepped forward. He frowned and looked down at me.

"You did this, Kurt?" He asked.

I know I'm getting better, but the need to cry in fear of disappointing my boyfriend was still there.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't ask. I just really wanted to do something special."

Sebastian stepped forward and kissed me on the lips.

"Thank you, so much babe. I appreciate it."

After a moment of silence I walked around the side of the table, pulling out the chair Sebastian usually sits in. We make eye contact and he chuckles.

"Oh, why thank you." He said in a mock tone.

Blaine smiled and shook his head, reaching out for his chair.

I slapped his hand away and pulled his chair out as well. He kissed me on the nose before sitting down.

I walk to the kitchen and come back with a bottle of 'Verdy' we had stored in the fridge, who knows how long it's been there for.

I filled up the three glasses and sat down in my own seat. We all ate in silence. I hear slight satisfying moans around the table.

"That was... Amazing, Kurt." Blaine said, sipping his wine.

Sebastian wouldn't stop staring at me with.. with those PROUD eyes. Proud? Why proud?

I cock my head to the side.

"You alright 'Bastian?" I ask.

He nods.

"Of course, I'm just... Just SO proud of you, Kurt. Dinner was amazing. Now, let's do the dishes then go have a bath, all together." He smiled.

I smiled and agreed, so did Blaine.

A month and a half has passed and slightly I'm starting to see colour again. The world doesn't seem that dark anymore.

I laughed for the first time the other day. A genuine laugh. Both Sebastian and Blaine laughed with me, Blaine had tears in his eyes.

They always make sure to tell me how much I mean to them, how much they love me. I don't feel as useless any more because I KNOW just how much they love me, they'll both always be there to lift me up when I fall


End file.
